
One of the most common misconceptions about Jewish holidays is that they only “count” if observed in a fully religious way. In reality, Jewish identity has always included secular, cultural, and humanistic expressions alongside religious ones — from secular Yiddish culture to Jewish humanistic congregations to families who simply keep the holidays as a way of staying connected to history and each other. If that’s where you are, you’re part of a long and legitimate tradition, not doing it “wrong.”
Every family draws the line differently, and that’s normal. Some approaches secular and cultural families use:
There’s no single “correct” formula. What matters is that it’s meaningful to your family.
Even without services, many secular families mark the new year with a reflective dinner, a discussion of resolutions, or a family walk to “reflect on the year” — echoing the spirit of tashlich without the ritual itself.
A weekly pause — no phones, a nice dinner, unhurried time together — captures much of Shabbat’s spirit even without candles or blessings, though many secular families do keep the candle-lighting as a simple, non-religious ritual of transition into the weekend.
Lighting a menorah each night is easy to keep as a family ritual even without reciting the traditional blessings — the visual, cumulative nature of the eight lights works well as a purely cultural practice.
A seder built around storytelling, symbolic foods, and questions (rather than religious liturgy) is widely embraced by secular and humanistic Jewish communities, some of which publish entirely non-theistic Haggadahs.
Because it centers on nature, trees, and the environment, Tu B’Shvat is one of the easiest holidays for secular families to adopt wholesale — see our related guide on Jewish Events for community Tu B’Shvat gatherings near you.
If you’re curious about which practices are considered central versus optional, or how a specific ritual traditionally works, that’s a great question for a rabbi, a Jewish educator, or a local humanistic or cultural Jewish community — customs and interpretations vary, and getting guidance tailored to your family beats guessing. Many communities also have secular or humanistic congregations specifically built around this approach; the Community Explorer is a good way to see what’s near you.
Secular and cultural families often worry about how to pass on Jewish identity without religious framing. A few approaches that work well:
Many secular and culturally Jewish families still want to live near community, send kids to Jewish camps or schools, or work within Jewish organizations, even without religious observance. If that’s you, it can help to browse Real Estate or Rentals in areas with strong Jewish cultural life, or check Jobs for community-adjacent work. If you host cultural or secular Jewish gatherings yourself, you can add a listing to help others find you.
Celebrating Jewish holidays as a secular or cultural family isn’t a lesser version of “real” observance — it’s one of many legitimate ways Jewish life has always been lived. Keep what’s meaningful, adapt what isn’t, and don’t let anyone tell you it doesn’t count.
By the HeimishMart Community Desk — HeimishMart is the community marketplace for Jewish homes, jobs, and local life across North America.

Wishing you and your family a peaceful, restful Shabbat — from our family to yours.